Understanding Change in Marriage: Embracing Growth Together

Welcome to the Covenant Army Marriage Podcast, where we empower couples to fight for their covenant and strengthen their relationships. In today’s episode, we explore a relatable yet often unsettling topic: the changes that occur within marriages over time. As we navigate through life’s seasons, it’s common to feel as if your spouse has transformed into someone unrecognizable. Let’s unpack this phenomenon and learn how to embrace growth in our relationships.

The Reality of Change in Marriage
Marriage is a journey filled with various seasons, and it’s unrealistic to expect that both partners will remain the same throughout. As Brent and Lucy discuss, who you marry at 22 is unlikely to be the same person at 32. This reality can feel jarring, especially when changes lead to feelings of discouragement or discomfort. The key is to recognize that change can be healthy, as long as it fosters growth together.

Identifying the Nature of Change
Not all changes in a marriage are negative. It’s crucial to discern whether the changes are a sign of growth or a shift in the relationship dynamic. Brent emphasizes that unexplored change can become a foothold for the enemy, creating division. He encourages listeners to consider their perspective: Are the changes in their spouse truly alarming, or are they a reflection of personal struggles?

Three Types of Changes in Marriage
Brent and Lucy outline three significant types of changes that couples may experience:
1. Healthy Spiritual Growth: When one partner matures and grows in their faith, it can cause shifts in the relationship. Using the example of the movie "The Case for Christ," he illustrates how a spouse’s spiritual awakening can feel like they’ve become a stranger.

2. Unhealed Wounds: Life’s stress, trauma, or unresolved issues can cause partners to retreat inward, appearing different from how they once were. It’s essential to recognize that these changes may stem from hurt rather than a desire to create distance.

3. Spiritual Warfare: The enemy often targets our spouses, leading to shifts in their identity and peace. Recognizing this can help couples support each other rather than cast blame.

Responding with Love and Wisdom
Brent and Lucy stress the importance of approaching changes in a marriage with love and understanding. Instead of diagnosing or accusing, they encourage couples to lean into one another, ask questions, and seek to understand the root causes of the changes. Prayer and communication are vital tools in navigating these shifts.

Change is an inherent part of marriage, representing growth and evolution rather than a sign of failure. By understanding the nature of changes and responding with compassion, couples can strengthen their bonds and navigate life’s challenges together. Remember, it’s not about diagnosing your partner but about interceding for them and anchoring your relationship in faith.